A touchy subject

It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something. - Don Cheadle (Crash)

Articles about foreign cultures seem to always reference the differences in personal space preferences. It makes perfect sense that countries with a condensed population would have a smaller "bubble." People cram into busses, trams and taxis. In rush hour, you must wade through the crowd just to get down the street. What the articles fail to mention however, is the increased amount of intentional touching.

I am not a 'touchy-feely' person, so to speak. I've never even had a massage, because I feel awkward having a complete stranger touching me. I may not be the best case study, but the difference in amount of physical contact here is drastic.

For example, Miljan's family came to visit. We were all standing around talking, and his father put his arm around me. Something like only my father would do back in the states. He left the arm there for several minutes. He didn't intend to cause any harm, he just wanted me to feel comfortable. To the family, it was totally normal. To me, it was absolutely weird.

In class today we talked about kissing as a greeting. In France, the first time you meet someone; it is common to kiss them on both cheeks. The first time you meet someone! I have a few French friends here, and every time we meet, we must kiss on each cheek. I think back to my physical interactions in the states. I think I could go for weeks without touching anyone, unless my mother demands a hug. Think about it, we go to work, and unless you work in a field like medicine, where touching is mandatory, you don't really have to interact.

I don't have a spouse, so I wake up by myself. I drive to school by myself. I sit next to other students. I go to lunch with friends. I drive home or to work. I watch television, do homework or take calls at work. Again, no touching taking place. Even in social gatherings or parties, we get drinks and we sit across the table from one another. Really think about it, how many physical interactions do you have per day? Per week?

In Slovenia, I still don't have spouse, so again I wake up alone. But I go to school and I sit next to my friends Adel and Juliana. We are always touching. If they have a funny story, they put their hand on my back, or slap my knee to enhance a punch line. Almost every day when I come home, Miljan gives me a hug and asks me how my day was. If we have a party, or we go to a bar, everyone must kiss everyone upon introduction. Throughout the pub, people are putting their arms around one another, dancing closely and usually kissing.

I still wouldn't call myself a 'touchy-feely' person. I'm finding touching less awkward, but I do not feel the need to initiate such actions. I'm not sure yet if this is something I will miss when I get home. We shall see.